8 Ways To Develop Relationships That Many Ignore
Anxiety and depression are commonplace nowadays yet by simplifying your life and eradicating distractions you’ll find that real everyday human connection will help you with much of those problems
I stumbled across an old TV show lately and it got me reminiscing for a simpler time.
The show involved 4 friends who went about their daily lives in New York City. Based around the comedian Jerry Seinfeld and his pals George Costanza, Elaine Benes, and Cosmo Kramer it played for nearly a decade. The comedy made people feel they could relate to the irrational ups and downs of living as single people throughout their thirties in a city that never sleeps.
But although it was hilarious in parts, the plot of the show could never occur in the modern world.
Don’t get wrong there is plenty of thirty-something single in New York who still hang around with one another these days so that’s not what I`m getting at. Rather, I`m talking about how they interacted is much more different than how people relate to one another in the present day.
Yet how they related to one another then has a better way to build healthier relationships than how many build them these days.
So here are 8 things that I noticed from the show Seinfeld from the early 1990s and how you can use it to improve your relationships today:
1. Quite often in the show one of the friends has cable TV and the others did not
But that’s okay because it allows them to ask a favor from a friend who will call over and watch TV with them.
And if two or more people are interested in the same program then there’ll be a conversation that will occur when they sit and watch the TV together. And back in the 1990s, there were no other distractions because the internet wasn’t mainstream as so everyone was looking at the same screen together.
And that’s when uninterrupted face-to-face conversations meant a lot to many people.
2. When Jerry wanted to go to the theatre he’d have to go there first to pick the tickets up.
And that would mean the rest of the gang would have to call over to his apartment to collect the tickets from him before they arrived at the theatre. This would allow them all to look forward to the night out together.
So from there was shared anticipation of what they were all going to experience together.
3. There were also scenes when Kramer would pop over to Jerry and grab something from his kitchen because he hadn’t the time to go to the store.
And when that happened it meant there was the trading of trust between the two men who first only met as next-door neighbors but then ended up as close friends. Because Kramer would always replace what he’d taken as he was truly appreciative of their being an open door policy for him when he needed something from Jerry’s apartment.
4. When Jerry’s door was always unlocked it meant that his friends felt welcome to come in.
Because back then people never worried that strangers were going to walk in the door.
Instead, they had self-confidence in their hospitality if someone did open it to enquire who was within and they were more aware of society in general and how people would not be too bothered to visit their apartment when they were already inside.
Essentially, if someone you didn’t know came to the door it was viewed more as an opportunity to greet a new unknown person than to fear their presence in the first place.
The thinking was different and has changed a lot since.
5. Jerry and his pals often queued for a movie and got forced into conversations with strangers as they waited
And from there it was easy to build up a rapport with some of those in the queue because they were all there for the same reason. So there was an inbuilt common theme and plenty of silence to kill in the cold outside air.
From there many pleasant chats were had and acquaintances were made.
6. The characters in the show were often hungry and went to restaurants and were forced to wait because the concierge dictated their booking time.
Because of that, they were forced to have good manners when all they wanted to do was get what they wanted. And that can be a tough thing to do when your instincts are telling you to feel unhappy with having to wait.
But as the cast from Seinfeld lived through a time when things were slower and waiting was a regular experience then it is important to develop a good rapport with every waiter or waitress that you met.
And so, the atmosphere of restaurants was pleasant and more homely for all.
7. In many episodes Jerry, George, Elaine, or Kramer would have to wait for their chance to use the payphone, and when they did they`d have to be pleasant to anyone who was on the phone at the time in case they lengthened out their conversation.
It was another way of relying on the goodness of strangers and hoping they`d have some courtesy to wrap up their phone call when another person was waiting to use it.
And if you had to wait for the person on the phone you knew you had only yourself to blame for not being prepared enough before that time of having to depend on a public phone in the first place.
Because back then when you told someone you`d be somewhere at a specific time they`d know you should be there otherwise they’ll think that there must be something the matter that was genuinely delaying you.
8. In the show, there were times when the group got a cab and they ended up having great conversations with the drivers
And that allowed them to understand what others in the city were going through as drivers would mingle with many others on a given day.
And from there they built up a better awareness of the people of their city.
So although these are mere moments of interaction, they are ones that when added all together meant there was a more openly social way of life and in spending your time being so you`ll lessen the time you have to worry while being alone.
