A Winning Moment is a Normal One
Many teams are desperate to win but are consistent losers who seem to fear the feeling of victory yet the moment it comes is just another moment in time
Winning In Sport Is Not Elation Its
Believe it or not, winning is not an emotional moment.
That’s exactly what I experienced when my team won the 2017 All-Ireland final.
After 29 long years of waiting the moment the final whistle went, I was still.
My lifelong friend who attended the game with me and sat beside me was the same. Neither of us jumped around or cheered. We just looked out onto the field and soaked it all in.
Don’t get me wrong I was delighted they finally won but that moment when the whistle went I didn’t express my feelings.
Although it was my favorite sport and my favorite team that had my strongest memories and emotions wrapped up together I didn’t show it all at the time. Don’t ask me why my friend never reacted to the victory because I don’t know. But I have a feeling that it was for the same reason as I didn’t react.
Because there’s no doubt in my mind that winning takes much less emotional energy than losing.
And when the final whistle was blown it was a more a feeling of:
“Okay, that’s it, phew!”
Rather than:
“Oh no, not again, why me?”
And trust me we had failed to win many times in the previous 29 years and knew what it was like to lose. It was much more emotional than winning. So much so, that I think that supporters of sport, teams, and players are sometimes drawn to that final whistle feeling of losing.
Because when a team gets so close to a victory and everyone around them knows they deserve it and they fail at the final hurdle then there are so many emotions that come to the surface once the game finishes.
And those emotions bring people together who want to commiserate with you and say:
“Hard luck, better luck next year!”
Losing becomes a familiar feeling too. And once you get used to it you expect it at the end of a long season.
For most teams a season wouldn’t be a season without the feeling of disappointment and the questions that go through your head like:
“How did I miss that shot?”
And
“Why didn’t he make that block?”
And
“Why didn’t he pass it to me?”
And you know that once your head drops and you’re walking from the field or out of the stadium that you’ll have hours and hours to contemplate the answers to all the questions and you’ll have plenty of company who’ll have an opinion on it all. Because around you will be loads of losers too.
Losing bleeds energy whereas winning vindicates effort.
When you win you feel good but then again a few moments before you’ve won you were generally feeling good too. So the feeling doesn’t change much from the last few minutes of the game. And usually, if your team wins they’ve been in front in the closing minutes so you have a moment of realization that your feelings aren’t going to change when the whistle blows.
Because you quickly assess if it’s possible for the opposing team to make a comeback or not.
And as the clock is ticking down you know that the chances of the other team catching up are minimal.
Then there are the moments after the final whistle.
That’s when things start to become real. My feelings then were of relief, feeling as if we deserved to win, and then being happy that I was with my best friend who was beside me at the time. Then, I realized that he too was having a personal moment and was drinking in what he could see unfold in front of him so he could cherish it in his memory bank for years to come.
Because both of us had gone to our team’s games since when we were children.
And we kept going to the games through our teenage years, our twenties, and most of our thirties, and then suddenly after three decades of defeat, we were tasting victory.
It was surreal but a lot less emotional than losing.
Having lost 1981, 1986, 1990, 1993, 2001, 2005, 2012, and 2015 finals we were due a victory. But because we had lost 6 finals since our last victory in 1988 we knew it was not a certainty.
By the time the on-field celebrations kicked off, we both turned to one another and realized that the other was content. We knew we both deserved to feel whatever we both felt. And there were no questions asked as to why neither of us jumped up and down or went crazy.
Just a mutual acceptance of that comfortable feeling of winning.
Sometime later, we walked down from the top of the stand. And eventually away from the fanfare that was flooding the field. Then as we walked down the series of slopes at the back of the stand and were alone without the crowd my friend turned to me and wondered how we’d celebrate the big win.
That was a different moment and it was when we both snapped out of the feeling of being content and the feeling of being a champion began to sink in.
That’s when a lifetime of memories flooded back and we both felt like small children again who were finally looking forward to what the next moments would bring with newfound naivety and excitement.
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