How A Sports Injury Ruined My Mind
Young people who play sport often identify with only being a sports person but when this is taken away from them they are often lost
You’ll never beat the thrill of playing sport.
Never.
Not even when you’re watching it.
At least that’s my experience.
Don’t get me wrong if you’re a true sports fan you will love watching sport and especially the sport you love the most or have played when you were young.
But, that doesn’t replace being in the action.
When I was younger I played all the way through my teen years until I reached 20 years of age. I was playing at the highest level in my region and then injury struck. And it was an unknown injury that took a lot of time to figure out what exactly was causing my issues.
By the time I found out what was causing all the pain my sporting career was over.
When you find that out it’s like your world ends.
All of the guys I played with from 7 years of age were only beginning to blossom into adulthood and becoming young men. The way they played in the underage categories was maturing and unlikely players were beginning to show that they were better than they seemed only a couple of years earlier.
They were finding strengths that didn’t show as a teenager and taking responsibility in games that they wouldn’t have done when growing up.
They were feeling more confident in themselves as developing young men who were playing ball.
Whereas, I was feeling the opposite.
All the players I played with were practicing several times a week with one another and preparing their bodies for battle at the weekend but I was struggling along. For me, I was doing nothing but waiting.
And wondering things like:
“What the heck is wrong with me?”
And
“Why me?”
Questions that you traditionally shouldn’t hear from a big masculine young man. Thoughts that if people knew them at the time would be considered a weakness.
But I wasn’t weak.
I was just lost.
Because medically no one knew what was wrong with me and why my body was breaking down all the time when I played sport.
For me, waiting for a diagnosis was hard. But worse again was missing out on the week-to-week fun that the other guys were having. When sporting fixtures were known they knew they had months of preparation to look forward to.
They had a fun time spent together and competing against other teams and knowing what came next if they won or lost.
Whereas I was alone and had no expectancy of what would happen from day to day except to know that pain wouldn’t be far away.
Then weeks of no sports turned into months.
Then, years.
And before I knew it I was 30 years of age.
That’s when most athletes are beginning to think about retirement from their sport. But for me, I was still trying to get back to playing mine.
Lads were coupling up in life and their long-term girlfriends were leading towards marriage. Whereas I was still nursing physical issues and lacking complete confidence that I could have a normal day to day relationship with a woman. As I knew at that time that I could be in serious pain if I didn’t spend a couple of hours a day doing certain things to patch myself up and get through to the next day.
Still, all the way through my twenties I watched games.
But I did so in a different light to most. To be honest, although I loved my sport I didn’t interact with the games that I went to or saw on TV as eagerly as I might have done had I been playing myself. And I felt as if the players were sort of entitled and lucky to be playing.
I was envious.
If I saw a player miss a ball or a pass I’d be very critical and say it out loud. Anyone watching with me would question why I was so demanding of the player and my only rationale at the time was that they shouldn’t miss a ball. After all, they’ve got two arms, two legs, and a healthy body to spend all week getting it right.
Making a mistake was not on.
Although I still feel that way when I’m watching players I know now that back then I was overly eager to get the chance to play myself and was judging players who had limited ability by my frustration in not being able to play. Because I knew that if I had the chance to play again I’d make sure I wouldn’t make simple mistakes.
I wouldn’t let my team down.
Because I learned that you need to grasp the opportunity of playing sport when you have it. A few years go by very quickly.
The chance you have to perform in a big game may only come once.
And you must be prepared.
If not well, you’re as well off injured and taking a premature retirement and maybe then you’ll enjoy only watching sport instead of being in the thick of the action.
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