How Forgiveness Sets You Free
Being betrayed causes uncomfortable feelings but by forgiving the other person you are reclaiming your energy from them and passing the test of being a better character
If you forgive you give for yourself.
Okay I know that’s a play on words but it's true.
After all, forgiveness does involve giving. By giving over your resentment against a person you are letting go of strong feelings and those feelings are primarily negative ones. So you need to ask yourself why you want to hold on to negative feelings at all?
Think about it for a second.
Would you turn on the television to watch a horror movie if you knew it was going to change your life into a horror show once the movie had ended?
Or would you play a computer game that you`re destined to lose that would deteriorate your lifestyle once you lost the game?
You wouldn’t do either.
So why hold a grudge?
Because when you let go of feelings that are dragging you down you`re setting yourself free of this weight of feeling. And you are the only one feeling this. Sure there may be others involved in the situation and they may have been betrayed by someone too, but your betrayal is very personal to you and as it involves you it’s in your gift to react to it.
So what’s the point in forgiving a person? After all, if they`ve done something wrong why should they get away with it? Well, the truth is they shouldn’t.
And they won’t.
For if you forgive them you`re taking away their power over making you feel badly towards them and any situation that reminds you of what they`ve done to you. By truly opening up to them again you`re allowing them back into your life. But that’s not to say you have to welcome them in to walk all over you again.
Because when someone offends you so much that you find it difficult to initially forgive them you now know their character.
And once you know the walls of a person’s dept you can use it to your advantage. I`m not talking about revenge because that’s a futile reaction. Rather, when you see the inner workings of what a person does against another you`ll be able to realize how they strategize when they are trying to reach some goal that they have in mind.
As they must have created this action against you with something big in mind.
But that doesn’t mean that you were the direct target of their goal in the first place. Rather, you may have been caught in the crossfire and received the shrapnel as a result of it all. For they may not have even thought about you when they set out on their aim but you happened to get in the way of it.
So if you`re in the crossfire again after forgiving this person all you can do make sure to do is wear a bulletproof vest the next time or walk down another street instead for a bit and let others take their flack.
But it's also possible that the person who betrayed you did so out of a lack of awareness for who you are and what you stand for.
And when something like that happens you need to accept them for what they did and who they are in that moment, then pull back from them for a bit, and sit yourself down to analyze your overall interaction with that person throughout the longevity of your relationship with them.
Then you may find fragments of memories where you could have done things better for that other person.
And if you do you`ll notice that in the past and from their point of view your actions may have bothered them slightly in some way or another. Sure, you may not have done anything wrong but even your presence in their daily lives may have subconsciously caused them some form of trauma or stress within their mind’s eye. Of course though, if they seemed okay about you doing what you did or by being there you`ll never have been aware of that throughout those past interactions at all.
Yet they may not have been as present in their minds as you were at those times in the past and processed your interactions in a different way than you have to.
Now I know it may seem as if I’m crediting the person who has caused the harm in the first place but if we don’t look at it from their side we’ll never be able to figure out how they see things in the future.
Because there is a future between you and them.
Even if you don’t need them in your life. Because others will betray you in the future just as they have. So situations like this will come about again.
And when that happens you have to have a way of dealing with it so it doesn’t drag you down. As grudges are heavy and they don’t reward you for carrying them. Instead, they lean on you and get heavier the longer you live.
Then before you know it you’ll be a different person who treats others in ways you didn’t admire to be treated yourself.
And that’s why forgiveness is powerful because it will always set you free.
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