Turning A Personal Sports Failure Into A Triumph

As a team player, you never have full control of your coach's thoughts and choices but you can control your reactions to their rejections and turn the negatives into positives

When you score all your team’s scores and then you don’t get another game again it’s embarrassing.

I can vividly recall the moment when I found this out. I was 13 years old and the country team had decided they didn’t want me.

I couldn’t understand it at the time and looking back I still can’t. But I was never angry about it, I just moved on with it.

It was just after 6 pm on a Tuesday and I`d another game to play that evening. Just before I left for the game the sports news came on the radio and I heard a list of names read out who was called back by the county’s management for the county squad. When I heard familiar names I knew that mine would be the next one called out. But it wasn’t.

And suddenly that was that.

I had been dropped.

There was no phone call. No letter. And of course, as there was no internet or mobile technology at the time there was no email or text from the manager to explain the reasons why.

And to this day I still can’t figure out why I wasn’t included.

After all, I had scored every time the ball came to me and what more can an attacking player do in any sport?

So at that time, I had two choices.

One was to sit and ponder on why I didn’t get picked and this could lead me to frustration, anger, or confusion.

Or I could hop in the car and go to the under 16 game that I had to play for my club.

I chose the latter.

And as soon as I made that choice I had my game face on. And although I was played in a very different position on the field and a place I wasn’t happy to play in, I had a wonderful performance. So much so, that the opposing team had to change three players to try to curb my influence on the game.

I recall walking off the field and the opposing manager rushing over to me and insisting on shaking my hand and saying:

“You were the best player on the field today!”

And although we lost that game and the other team was much better than us I appreciated that compliment.

I mean, how often does a manager from your team seek you out to congratulate you on your performance?

And

How often does the opposing team manager do the same for an opposing player?

It doesn’t happen.

But it’s something that stuck with me even 30 years later.

And from then on I always liked that manager.

Years later his sons had a long career for the county side. One of them was quite an impressive player. By that time I was finished playing though because I’d been injured at 20 years of age and no medic could find a way to heal me.

Of course, I still went to the games to support my team.

And even though I was frustrated that I couldn’t play I was delighted when they won. Yet behind all those feelings I always had that curious question in my mind:

If I kept playing would I have made this team too?

Of course, it’s impossible to know.

We look back at these times and wonder. And I’m not the only person who’s experienced such thoughts as many sportspeople get injured and you have to get on with life.

And when you get on with things you must learn from it all.

Because that, as they say, is life.

Sometimes people want you. Sometimes people don’t.

But you can’t take it personally. Because, if you do you’ll lead yourself into self-doubt. And being honest I never doubted my ability in sport or in other area of life where I knew my best abilities lay.

Because there are always people out there that will make mistakes. Not everyone is great at their job and there are those that are given responsibilities that they really shouldn’t be given. And just because a person has a manager’s title it doesn’t mean they make the correct choices.

As it turned out that team that failed to pick me never won anything.

Although there were some good players on the team and they had every chance of winning they never did. And it wasn’t just at the under 14 levels either. When they went on to play together at the next few age groups right up to senior men’ level they always lost out in the semi-final or final game.

And most of the time all they needed was one more score or two to win.

Maybe if they chose the guy that scored all his team’s scores when he was only 13 then how different the sporting lives of all of those players might have been?

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