Why Being Truly Present Helps Others
Although it’s great to think about others when they are in need if you free up your time and actively help them you can turn their life around
Live your life.
Avoid living others’ lives.
Think about it, why would you waste your time and energy on living others’ lives?
After all, it’s not yours.
Okay, if you are overly concerned about others then this is a good thing. It shows you have empathy. You can put yourself in another’s shoes.
But what are you doing about it?
Unless you go out there and do something for them or can speak with them and work things out it’s not going to do anything substantial for that other person if you only care about them. Don’t get me wrong it’s great to care but it’s of minimal help to someone if you can’t actively help them.
And in thinking a lot about others in the same way you are proving to be a good person but is this going to help you with your life?
Yes and no.
If you can communicate with other people that you care about there’s no doubt that one if not more of them will appreciate this and may even be delighted for a listening ear or someone who can advise them. And you`ll be able to grow your network of those who respect you too.
But it must be remembered that in doing this you`re ignoring your life too.
Because unless you work in the field of helping others it won’t make you closer to any of your professional goals by taking your attention from them.
Does that sound greedy?
Perhaps.
Is it unchristian?
Probably, if only temporarily.
But it’s also the truth.
Because if you want to succeed at something you`ll need all your time and energy to do so.
I can recall when I was in school and a good teacher who I thought was very professional gave us a speech about how to discipline ourselves for the up and coming state examinations. It was the first time we had approached a big set of exams and man of us needed direction. Although she was a very caring person herself she said something that seemed out of character for her at the time.
She told us to:
“Get greedy. No matter what your friends want you to do over the coming weeks ignore them. Even if your parents or brothers and sisters want you to do something don’t help them. Let them know you`ve got examinations and that these are more important than anything in your life.”
When she said this I immediately paid attention.
It was indeed very rare to hear someone of such authority tell you to be greedy and disregard other people.
All these decades later I can still recall it easily.
And the thing is that teacher was right.
In fact, she epitomized the balance you need to spend time and energy on others and to dedicate time and energy only to your endeavors.
Because the reality is no matter what you do you can’t duplicate yourself.
Your brain will only allow you to concentrate on one thing at a time. If others have a pressing issue and it touches your emotions you won’t be able to fully concentrate on what you need to do in your life at the same time. So you must pick one thing to do.
And one person to help.
So that’s either the other person or yourself.
Of course, if you chose yourself then once you get your stuff sorted you can take time off to help others right after. They may even appreciate you more. Because if their thing takes time then when you finish your tasks and communicate with those that need you they’ll know they have your undivided attention.
Because if they seek your counsel in the first place it’s a compliment to you. They may see you as a problem solver. Or as someone who is in control of their decision-making and choices.
Either way, they want your attention.
And if you`re to give them the full attention you need to be free of all possible distractions. Because it’s no good giving someone your time unless you have given them your uninterrupted presence.
That’s when they`ll know you truly care.
I mean think of it, in this modern world of ours that’s full of personal electronic devices when was the last time you were with someone who didn’t take out a phone, check their watch, or have something distracting their conversational flow?
The answer is it’s very unusual to be around someone like this.
Because when you meet them you realize you`re thinking is scattered and you're wondering about things in your past, things you need to get done soon, and anything else on your mind is not being true with another person.
But then again maybe that’s what lots of people want to do. Perhaps they don’t want to help others.
So the question is then:
Is that you too?
Get FREE Access To Dr. Conor’s VIP List Here (Limited Time Only)
